A Gut Feeling

Does anyone else have a issue with their belly during the second ashtanga sequence?

When The Elder first taught me the seqence, I was huffing and puffing too much to focus on that soft bit that never seems to go way. But when I practiced in the quiet of my yoga room, that bit of belly was the only thing that stopped my chin from touching my knees. Sure, the hamstrings and back muscles also played a part but all my eyes could see was that litle bit of belly. And the further I got into the sequence, the more unslightly it grew. By the time I reached janu sirsasana c, I was almost in tears. My ego had turned mild dissatisfaction into full-on disgust, and I couldn't continue practicing. I hated the sequence and that bit of belly.

Later that evening, I texted The Elder telling her what had happened. She replied, "I told you ashtanga would bring up strong emotions. Don't worry about it. We'll talk about this over lunch soon ok."

Our busy schedules have kept us from that lunch date, but since then I've tried to move beyond that severe self-criticsm. The last three times I practiced, I breathed into that bit of belly, cajoling it to soften and relax. It's a painfully slow process.

I still don't like the seated sequence for its complete disregard for my physical insecurities. I still get upset with that bit of belly and struggle not to scowl through the rest of the practice. But perhaps the more I practice, the more I'll have to face my least favourite part of my body and the closer I'll get to overcoming the emotional attachment towards it.

If anyone has a similar experience, I'd love to hear it!