Trick or Treat?

That's not my Halloween catchcry. It's my shoutout to the universe.

TRICK OR TREAT?

It seems that things are very slowly turning around. There is finally a flicker at the end of the tunnel. An offer to head a portion of a lifestyle magazine, two unexpected writing assignments, a vacancy at the radio station that I've been eyeing and today, a possible opportunity to write for an online news magazine. These are bits and pieces of the half-formed dreams that I have been playing with in my mind. And I don't know what to make of them now that they are taking shape in reality.

The Thinker says my guardian angel is taking very good care of my career department. I like the sound of that and deep down I believe it, but yet I'm cautious. Are these the signs I have been asking for? Or will the carpet be pulled from under my feet again?

Forgive me if I sound cynical. I have my reasons. But if these signs are to be believed, then very exciting times are unfolding ahead.

Tonight ghosts and ghouls roam the city. In just a few hours, November will be munching toast at the breakfast table. Blink a little and the malls will be overflowing with breathtakingly decorated trees, life-sized reindeers and overpriced baubles. Another step closer to the year's grand finale. Another step closer to wiping the slate clean and starting all over again, or continuing to walk on the same path but perhaps with a different rhythm.

At the end of August, Editrixed sent me a link to a post by Cary Tennis, who writes an advice column on Salon.com That particular post was on the subject of embracing change. The last paragraph burrowed itself into my memory.

"It's September. The leaves are turning. The days are shortening. Summer is coming to an end. Let it come to an end. Let the leaves fall.

Answer the door."

Tonight

Tonight my beloved city glitters behind a curtain of raindrops, bold and breathtaking.

Tonight the blue black sky is punctuated with soft white clouds.

Tonight the breeze is a little cooler, a little gentler, a little lighter.

Tonight my usual cloak of weariness has slipped off my shoulders.

Tonight I think of the people in my life and whisper a prayer of gratitude.

Tonight I think of Nan and miss her a little more.

Tonight I hear a quiet voice telling me that it's going to be ok.

Tonight all dreams are within reach.

Tonight my soul gallops like a wild, spirited horse.

Tonight I sit out in the chilly night wrapped in a silken cocoon of happy solitude.

Tonight there is no other place I would rather be.

Being Yourself

Picked up the November issue of O magazine yesterday. There was a mini questionnaire that was posed to four writers - Uwem Akpan, Anne Lamott, Mary Karr and Junot Diaz - all of whom contributed to the 'How to Become the Person You Were Meant to Be' section.

Since I have an unnatural fondness for questions, I have my own set of answers.

I look most like myself...
in jeans/pants, a simple top and accessories.

I act most like myself...
when I'm with my family.

I feel most like myself...
with a coffee and a book.

I feel least like myself...
when I have drunk too much and at big parties.

I Miss...

1. Days filled with sweet sharp joy from dawn to dusk
2. Long nightly chats with Editrixed who is on a two-week traipse through Argentina
3. The Thinker who has reconfigured his shape in my life
4. The Munchkin's buoyancy
5. Mixed berries pavlova at Alexis
7. Being addicted to a TV series
8. The ocean
9. A chilled glass of Chardonnay
10. Laughing until my tummy hurts
11. Ridiculously long coffee sessions with the Magazine Girls
12. Soaking in a tub with a copy of TIME
13. My own cooking
12. Stargazing

October 8th

1. Day 25. First milestone in my sobriety plan.
2. Day 365. A year since it was you.

Pocket

There is a little pocket in my heart just for you.

When you dip your hand into it, you'll find whatever you need at that particular moment.

And if you ever feel like climbing inside, that's also fine.

Because I will always carry you around with me.

A New Friend

I returned home exhausted from another long day at work and from battling intense emotions. A swim was the answer, I decided. So I waited until the sun slipped behind the horizon and the pool lights flickered on.

The pool was empty, the wnd sweeping across its surface. I started swimming. Each slice through the water coazed my mind and muscles to relax. After ten laps, I paused to catch my breath and spotted a father and his son approaching. The father joined his friends at a cafe by the pool and his son rode his little tricycle around the pool.

I continued my laps. After a while, I noticed that each time I lifted my head out of the water, there was a odd whirring sound to my left. Reaching the end of the pool, I looked to for the source of the noise. Nothing. But the little boy was at the same end of the pool as me. I swam back and again, the whirring sound. And once again, the little boy was at the end. A thought struck me. Could it be?

I launched into the water again but this time, I looked to my left. And true enough, the little boy was pedalling alongside. Not ahead or trailing behind, but perfectly alongside. When I reached the end, he turned his bike around and waited in anticipation.

I smiled at him and he furiously pedalled away. Then he stopped and turned around to watch me. I took a three-minute break. He slung his hand over his tricycle's backrest and waited.

When I plunged back into the water again. he immediately resumed position. We moved in a comfortable tandem for the next ten minutes. I laughed as I swam, swallowng a mouthful of water in the process.

When I fnished my swim, I climbed out and waved goodbye. He stared at me unblinkingly and cycled away.