The Path To Bodhichitta

You start where you are, the practice will meet you there.

My Photo
Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Friday, August 18, 2006

Angel Wisdom

If you believe there are angels, believe there are angels; if you don't, don't. But don't tame them into something to which you can be indifferent.If you seek an angel with an open heart, you shall always find one.

I experienced crystal healing for the first time today. It was, in fact, a long overdue session. Recent events in the workplace have left me drained, frustrated and unhappy. In the last few days, I've been beseiged by an awful feeling of emptiness and dispassion, even for the things that usually bring stars to my eyes. My heart is being pulled in a direction I cannot follow just yet and I feel that I will drown if I remain where I am right now. I can't ever remember feeling this caged before. Knowing, that the issue probably runs much deeper than I think, I made an appointment to see Sakunthala, a healer at Yoga 2 Health.

Not knowing what to expect, I settled down in the little room and opened myself to receive whatever came my way. After listening to my anxieties, Sakun drew out a pack of Angel Cards. The only time I have ever heard of these cards was from my roomate in the ashram, who consulted them with amazing results. As Sakun shuffled them, two jumped out - Surrender & Release and Power. She smiled at me. The rest of the cards couldn't have conveyed the message any clearer. I am meant to walk the path my heart is paving. That destiny cannot be denied and that the people who have been unexpectedl bringing me similar messages cannot be ignored. That nothing is coincidental or accidental. I've always believed that.

It suddenly became clear that my real problem is that I doubt my inner voice. Each time it speaks, my mind bullies and interrogates it into silence. Self-doubt is an old nemesis and it's wielding its sword once again. New paths have been opening that will lead me straight to my heart's desire, yet each time they appear before me, The Doubting Mind (TDM) yanks on the brakes and manipulates the situation, so it seems that I'm just misintepreting innocent occurances as signs and seeing/listening only to what I want to hear. TDM is a suave talker, which is why I haven't moved an inch since.

TDM has also convinced me to deny who I am. A New-Ager. And I don't want to deny that anymore. I believe in the cosmic universe, in past lives, in karma and in angels. And if the rest of the world doesn't, so be it. So much has changed in my life these past few months, that it would be stranger to not believe. Sakun warned me that walking down the spiritual path will cause me to lose a few friends. I replied that I have not lost them, I have chosen to let them go. Since returning from the ashram, I have seen a new way of life for myself. One that makes me feel complete. To get there, certain sacrifices are necessary and I'm willing to make them.

I emerged from the session, feeling lighter and at peace. When the crystals were laid on my manipura and anahata chakras, I felt weightless. Like I was floating in a cloud.

So from today onwards, I'm going to believe completely. I'm going to have more faith in my inner voice and pay attention to the mortals who are delivering the message of angels. I don't know how long it will take for me to feel confident enough to do as my inner voice says, but I'll start by giving it the attention it deserves.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Compassion Under Fire
My mother, an English teacher in a secondary school, recently assigned her students an essay entitled ‘What I Would Do With One Million Ringgit’. Most papers came back crammed with dreams of mansions, philanthropy, jet setting and investing. Then came the three papers that made suck in her breath sharply.

If I had a million ringgit, I would build a bomb and kill the Israelis.

Summoning the students, she chastised them and told them to never make such a statement again. Stunned, I asked her if she had explained why this mindset was so utterly wrong. She said there wasn’t any point. She could see from their hard expressions that they would not…could not…believe otherwise.

This incident played in my mind for days and each replay sent me reeling into shock again. Teenagers talking about being part of a senseless war they don’t understand. The supposed leaders of tomorrow nursing a rage and desire to play God. What could be more terrifying?

During my recent stay at an ashram in India, I met an Israeli girl who underwent her country’s compulsory national service. I asked her what it was like and after a pause she said, what she will always remember about her stint was being assigned to the Israeli-Palestinian border, being approached by a seven-year-old boy wearing a bulky jacket, firing shots in the air to scare him away, running for her life as he drew closer and being deafened by the explosion that blew his little body apart.

To practice compassion in our daily lives is challenging enough. What more in a war torn country. But if there’s one thing that can heal the world, it is compassion. Perhaps it’s easy to say this in the soft glow of my table lamp, a million miles away from carnage. Perhaps many people did practice compassion as mortar shells rained down around them, snatching away their nearest and dearest. Perhaps the ugliness just got too much to bear. Perhaps one day those responsible will look back and realise that this horror story would have been neatly sidestepped if one small insignificant decision had been made in the light of compassion. And this is one virtue we need to teach our children.

When the Dalai Lama was asked if he hates the Chinese, he replied, “My quarrel is with the Chinese Communist Party. Not with ordinary Chinese. I still consider the Chinese my brothers and sisters. I do not hate them. I forgive them with no reservations.”

I think of this little speech each time I’m filled with the urge to hit the other person’s cheek instead of giving him my other cheek. It’s tough as hell, but I tell myself that it I keep at it, it can only get easier.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I'm still trying to find time to put words onto screen, so until I do, here's something to chew on.

The Invitation
Author Unknown

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dream for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon... I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful be realistic remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.