Moving On

One of Domestic Goddess' favourite lines is, 'When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.'

Last night, I was finally ready and my teacher appeared in the form of Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love - a book I picked up on an impulse. This is the excerpt that dislodged that stubborn stone in me. And this is for all of you silent readers who still carry a memory in a secret pocket of your heart.

"I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate."

"He probably was. Your problem is that you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows your everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you can't let this one go. David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a short shelf life. You're like a dog at the dump, baby - you're just lickin' at an empty tin can trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you're not careful, that can's gonna' get stuck to your snout forever ad make your life miserable. So drop it."

"But I love him"

"So love him."

"But I miss him."

"So miss him. Send him some love and light everytime you think about him, and then drop it. You're just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you'll be really alone. But here's what you've got to understand. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you're using right now to obsess about this guy, you'll have a vacuum there, an open spot - a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in - God will rush in - and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go."

"But I wish me and David could..."

"See now that's your problem. You're wishin' too much, baby. You gotta' stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta' be."