The Path To Bodhichitta

You start where you are, the practice will meet you there.

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Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Friday, August 18, 2006

Angel Wisdom

If you believe there are angels, believe there are angels; if you don't, don't. But don't tame them into something to which you can be indifferent.If you seek an angel with an open heart, you shall always find one.

I experienced crystal healing for the first time today. It was, in fact, a long overdue session. Recent events in the workplace have left me drained, frustrated and unhappy. In the last few days, I've been beseiged by an awful feeling of emptiness and dispassion, even for the things that usually bring stars to my eyes. My heart is being pulled in a direction I cannot follow just yet and I feel that I will drown if I remain where I am right now. I can't ever remember feeling this caged before. Knowing, that the issue probably runs much deeper than I think, I made an appointment to see Sakunthala, a healer at Yoga 2 Health.

Not knowing what to expect, I settled down in the little room and opened myself to receive whatever came my way. After listening to my anxieties, Sakun drew out a pack of Angel Cards. The only time I have ever heard of these cards was from my roomate in the ashram, who consulted them with amazing results. As Sakun shuffled them, two jumped out - Surrender & Release and Power. She smiled at me. The rest of the cards couldn't have conveyed the message any clearer. I am meant to walk the path my heart is paving. That destiny cannot be denied and that the people who have been unexpectedl bringing me similar messages cannot be ignored. That nothing is coincidental or accidental. I've always believed that.

It suddenly became clear that my real problem is that I doubt my inner voice. Each time it speaks, my mind bullies and interrogates it into silence. Self-doubt is an old nemesis and it's wielding its sword once again. New paths have been opening that will lead me straight to my heart's desire, yet each time they appear before me, The Doubting Mind (TDM) yanks on the brakes and manipulates the situation, so it seems that I'm just misintepreting innocent occurances as signs and seeing/listening only to what I want to hear. TDM is a suave talker, which is why I haven't moved an inch since.

TDM has also convinced me to deny who I am. A New-Ager. And I don't want to deny that anymore. I believe in the cosmic universe, in past lives, in karma and in angels. And if the rest of the world doesn't, so be it. So much has changed in my life these past few months, that it would be stranger to not believe. Sakun warned me that walking down the spiritual path will cause me to lose a few friends. I replied that I have not lost them, I have chosen to let them go. Since returning from the ashram, I have seen a new way of life for myself. One that makes me feel complete. To get there, certain sacrifices are necessary and I'm willing to make them.

I emerged from the session, feeling lighter and at peace. When the crystals were laid on my manipura and anahata chakras, I felt weightless. Like I was floating in a cloud.

So from today onwards, I'm going to believe completely. I'm going to have more faith in my inner voice and pay attention to the mortals who are delivering the message of angels. I don't know how long it will take for me to feel confident enough to do as my inner voice says, but I'll start by giving it the attention it deserves.


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