The Path To Bodhichitta

You start where you are, the practice will meet you there.

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Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

One Picture, Two Views

Last night I sat on my living room floor, watching the shadows dance across the timber and letting my eyes travel unseeingly across my beloved city skyline. I lost myself in my thoughts until Sarah McLaughlan sang the last note on her Afterglow album. And very slowly, the answers came. But still, I had to know for sure. So I reached back into my past.

I was looking for validation. I wanted confirmation that the same issues I saw in myself today were the same issues that caused me heartache before. I needed an insight into how my behaviour impacted another so I would know what to do now. What I got instead was a completely different version of my story. A kinder version. A version that I had never seen before.

At that moment, I realised how important a check and balance is in our lives. Because when we're standing too close to the mirror, everything is magnified and we can't help but shrivel in our own eyes. And that is a horrible feeling. Touching base with my past pulled me back from my mirror just far enough for me to understand that I was seeing too much in too little.

I've chosen to write this post in the hope that if any of you are struggling with your version of the truth, you will try checking in with someone else who bore witness to that truth and see if both versions match. You'd be surprised at how the mind is able to play tricks on the heart,and vice versa.

The real truth is a tricky thing, especially when it's about yourself. It's slippery, it's painful, it's baffling. But when you find it, you will know. Because it is also freeing.


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